When You Can’t Tell the Whole Story (But Still Need to Write It)

For the last 35 years or so, I’ve been writing in journals, and capturing memories and thoughts in all kinds of words… in private. I’ve shared very little of my overall story publically, for many reasons. Not because the stories didn’t matter, but because they are tender, complicated or have been unfolding over the decades.

The older I get the more I realized the value in sharing these stories…. and yet! Some stories still feel too raw, too complicated, or too private to tell out loud. There are moments I want to write down but hesitate… not because they don’t matter, but because they matter so much.

If you’ve ever wanted to write your story but stopped because “I can’t say that part”… this post is for you.

You’re Still Allowed to Write It

If you are like me, you write anyway. So, keep doing that! Write in private, write freely, write stories that only you and God can see. And let the first (or second drafts) be a safe space. You can decide what parts of the story can be shared more publically later.

And just because a story needs to be edited for public consumption, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write it. There’s so much healing that comes from writing and putting your words on a page.

There Are Many Ways to Tell the Truth

I’ve talked about this topic with close friends, and every single one of them suggested I write, without naming names. Or write a fiction novel (or ten) with the characters living through similar kinds of stories. I love those ideas, I may use them as I continue to write.

But if you and I want to blog about our stories, we just need to remember that we can share the shape of our pain with out detailing the source. Your story is still yours, even if it’s written in broad strokes. My story is still mine, even if I only talk about the emotion or the lesson or the growth.

We’re allowed to keep the details fuzzy, and focus on how we felt and what God did through the trauma, heartache, and even joy!

Telling the Hard Parts with Grace

I’ve spent the last 8 months doing a morning exercise in prayer – writing all the thoughts and fears and hopes and trauma and requests in a journal. I have always done this, sometimes more sporadically at times, but I have made it a spiritual discipline for these past 8 months now. God has worked so mightily in this, and it’s a beautiful record of growth and grace. Requests and answers. Trauma uncovered and trauma released. I am slowly… very slowly… learning to love myself and my story more, and to have grace for the parts that are oh, so hard.

While I have often feel bitter, afraid, traumatized, wounded…. the more I write about these parts of my story, I find that I can write without bitterness. The wounds feels less “open”, and grace is re-framing the story. It’s not every day – some days I still feel the very hard feelings and even rage a bit, but God is meeting me wehre I’m at, and working in my story-telling, my prayers, the pouring out of my heart.

So, those stories I haven’t been able to write about in a blog post…. I might eventually be able to tell with grace. You can do the same!

You Don’t Owe the Internet Everything

And finally – it’s ok to NOT write ALL the things. It’s okay to keep some parts of your story between you and God and close friends or confidants or a counselor. Ask God for wisdom in what to share, and listen to His voice in how to share it as well.

And don’t let that stop you from writing, processing, or sharing the parts you can. Someone out there needs the hope you carry, the growth, the lessons, the wisdom. Even a glimpse of your journey might help them keep going on theirs.